I can do this

It’s easy to indulge oneself as an adult. As a child you are subject to the restrictions of institutions and your parents, your lack of funds or time. But these restrictions removed, you find that you’ve wasted a whole evening away watching crime dramas, eating ridiculous amounts of junk food and facebooking instead of buckling down and writing a blog. And as you’ve noticed by my lack of entries for the past few weeks, this is what I’ve done for a while.

But upon examination I’ve found that this general sense of laziness and indulgence has permeated several arenas of my life.  For months.  For years even.   I have goals, and some I’ve had for years that never seem to come to pass. Why? It’s remarkable how one can see what he has to do in order to make something happen, but is held back by simple things. Phone calls to make, papers to fill out, or the mere act of bending down to put your shoes on to go for a run.  It sounds uber-pathetic in hindsight, but so does anything that keeps you from doing what you really love.

So I’ve been starting a series of projects designed to whip the laziness out of my life.  Number one on the agenda is the diet.  Paying attention to what I eat has proved painful, as I have recently discovered that regarding food I have the restraint of a starved wolf and the consumption habits of a hyena.  Put down the cookies Jing!!!  Do not shove your face full of food!  You wouldn’t believe how many times during the day I have to tell myself this.  There isn’t even any discernment over what type of food it happens to be.  Like a goat, I eat everything.  But the fight has begun, and every day is a battle against the call of chocolate bars, hamburgers, and other various delicious edibles.

I’ve been thinking about how anything that is slightly uncomfortable can stand between a person and their dreams.  I’ve also been remembering those uncomfortable situations that brought me some of the things I most enjoy about my life.  I look back lovingly on events that made me laugh while at the same time made me want to cry.  So I’ll climb the mountains before me a little at a time, and enjoy the view on the way up.  Losing 30 pounds?  I got this.  Fighting the urge to eat everything within my ability to procure?  I am a rock.  A ninja rock.  Commission?  Mountains of paperwork and cold calls do not faze me.  Starting a business and dealing with customers?  All fears that will paralyze me no longer.  I can do this, and I will.  I just need to back away from the cookies.